Darwinism

n: a theory that inherent dynamic forces allow only the fittest persons or organizations to prosper in a competitive environment or situation.

In bitchier words, “A god-sent idea that only the self-aware should remain and the boomeranging-special-project-hawking fuckheads should be eliminated, immediately.”

Let me just say, I STAND WITH DARWIN. Always have, always will.

We could definitely benefit from ridding the world of a few people. Starting with, but not limited to…

— The guy that drives the convertible Nissan with a spoiler driving around Pacoima like he is fucking Vin Diesel. Nobody wants to have sex with you.

— Any man, woman, or child that drinks Moscato. Moscato is for the uninformed.

— Celebrity children. Like almost all of them.

Jaden Smith “I don’t think I’m as revolutionary as Galileo, but i don’t think I’m not as revolutionary as Galileo.”
Willow Smith “Famous-ness is awesomeness…but some parts of famous-ness can be hard.”
Olivia Jade “Education is key.”
Anwar Hadid “I’m pretty shy, but if I like a girl, she’ll know.”

— Aspiring influencers. The only thing worse than being an influencer, is wanting to be an influencer. “HAI GUYZ! A lot of you guys have been asking me about my skincare routine…” You have 312 followers Brenda…

— People with self diagnosed gluten allergies.

— Boomerangs… you look like you are having a glamorous stroke. Sorry. Kind of.

— #GIRLBOSS aka #GiRlBoSs … Brenda, you selling tupperware via your Facebook does not make you Sheryl Sandberg.

— Priyanka Chopra-Jonas

Oh, and…

— Priyanka Chopra-Jonas