Those who know me, know the major components of my life include (but are not limited to) the following; embellished clothing, chicken shawerma, my dog Bunny and The Real Housewives Franchise.
Put this shit on your next party playlist and find out who your real friends are.
A few months ago, I was at dinner and the woman sitting next to us overheard me discussing my passion for The Real Housewives. She leaned over and said “I couldn’t help but overhear you guys!I love those shows too, such a guilty pleasure! Which one is your favorite?” My response? ” What kind of question is that? That’s like fucking Sophie’s Choice!” Apparently making Holocaust jokes at a nice restaurant is in poor taste. (Google “Sophie’s Choice”. Im too ashamed to explain plotline) My friends were completely horrified and the woman looked like I had just punched her in the throat. It’s true, I really do love them all. The botox, the bankruptcies, the mid-life crisis singing careers, I can’t get enough. Real Housewives has given me the hope that I too can release a auto-tuned dance track, come out with an alcoholic beverage line, have a best-selling book and flip tables at a dinner party. Reach for the star’s girl.
Haute Mess Lesson: No religious genocide jokes in public.