Bitch Abroad

Well kittens, this mess is headed oversees. Tomorrow I will be popping Benadryl PM like tic-tacs and having a stiff dirty martini to hopefully induce a balls out comatose for my 13 hour flight to Edinburgh. My boyfriend and I will be in Scotland with our close friends to start, the jet off to Paris for some alone time . After that we will finish the trip off in London town. To say I am excited is an understatement (it’s my boyfriends and I’s 2 year anniversarry- Im sorry for the mush, I know #gag)  I am one of those annoying tourists that goes above and beyond to seem like a local. I won’t carry a map, refuse to use the English menu (not a great move if you are a picky eater- I have accidentally ordered/feasted on PIGEON before ) and go above and beyond to embrace the countries fashion trends. Last time I went to Europe I REALLY missed the mark.  I had always dreamt of going to Paris, I felt it was the land of all things me; Bread, cheese, wine, amazing shopping, efficient public transportation, universal rudeness and more. I thought I was Carrie-fucking-Bradshaw gallivanting through Paris in 5 inch heels, sequined clothing, loud colors, feathers, polka dots (I don’t even like polka dots) getting hit by Alexander Petrovsky (Sex and The City reference…#superfan) I even went and bought a fake lit cigarette from a gas station in LA that I carried around pretending to smoke. That is not a joke, I ACTUALLY did that. Everyone looked at me like I was such a loser and rightfully so. The French hated me. For part duex I have decided to keep it simple… Lots of black, lots of white and lots of leather (Sorry PETA)

oyyyy

paris

Way too much time on my hands…SO Parisian!

I will be doing my best to keep posting while I am there. Hopefully, I won’t get into too much trouble… but if I do, Ill be sure to get it on camera! If you never hear from me again it’s either I ate myself into Kirstie-Alleyism or I have ran off with a French prince (joking Andy…kinda) XOXO

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One thought on “Bitch Abroad

  1. Carole Starr says:

    Have a great trip and take another (really you) picture with the Eiffel tower behind you. Miss you. I was hoping to see you Father’s Day. Have a great trip, stay safe.

    Carole Sent from my iPad

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