Happy Monday everyone. I am usually one chipper chicken but this morning all I’m thinking about is how pissed I am I woke up too late to drive through McDonald’s (I’m on a serious egg mcmuffin kick) and still so irritated by Joanna Krupa’s wedding dress from the Real Housewives finale. But seriously, what the fuck was that? She’s so gorgeous, she had the potential to be possibly the prettiest bride ever and she ended up looking like fucking Charro. Better luck at your next one girl. Anyways, this morning I have found myself to be really cranky. In an attempt to lift my spirits thought I would purge some of my current frustrations with one of infamous lists. Please don’t be offended – I’m premenstrual and having hash brown withdrawals.
Ice Sculptures – I get how random this is, but they legitimately bother me. Are they supposed to be classy? It’s just fucking ice. Like what is chic about a swan made of ice? It melts and does not make sense aesthetically, financially or emotionally.
“Baby Got Back” – I just hate this song so much. No one has ever looked cool dancing to this song. As a baby who does not have “back” this is what I consider a “refill song”. The second I hear that weird ass intro, you should immediately refill whatever you can think of. Your drink, your plate, your Chlamydia meds, happy pills whatever.
Pedestrians – You will never find a group of people more self-absorbed & self-righteous. I am not talking about people walking their dog, having a romantic stroll or walking to dinner. I am referring to full time pedestrians. They just waltz into the middle of the street and expect you not to hit them? While they nonchalantly walk around avoiding traffic signals because the law says “Pedestrians have the right away.” UM that’s funny, not in my world they don’t. Talk about entitlement issues. Get a car.
Acid Wash Denim – Unless you are Bret Michaels, this just isn’t socially acceptable anymore.
Coach Bags- They just scream “I’m settling.”
And then all this…
Sometimes I annoy myself beyond the point of belief. ALSO, please share the Haute Mess love by sharing the site on your Facebook, Instagram or Twitter using the hashtag #hautemesslife and win some free shit.