Queen of The Dance – Tay Swift

Taylor oh sweet Taylor. Why is our one sided relationship so taxing? I think you are a really talented songwriter. What you have been able to accomplish at such a young age is very impressive and given my serious lack of accomplishments, my hats off to you. However, you need to stop dancing. But seriously it needs to stop. You make me so uncomfortable when I have to watch you do your strange arm flail, body roll, awkward foot stomp and shoulder thrust. When you do them all in unison I literally get anxiety. The worst part for me is she is genuinely trying to be sexy. She is stuck in a room with a whole gaggle of men that have dumped her, she’s gotten all glammed and now she is using this platform to try and act carefree with her contrived dance moves. “Look I am Taylor Swift, despite the 17 pending restraining orders I have acquired from men in this room I am going to lip sync to every performance stand up and try to seduce the camera with my hairography and protruding shoulder bones!” No girl. I live for the dance and love people that let it all go despite zero coordination or rhythm. I completely applaud that. However, Tay Tay clearly thinks her moves are haute shit and let’s just keep it real. She looks like a half cooked noodle… with cerebral palsy. I mean that with love. taylor-swift-vma-2013-1tumblr_mmgpsrhUzl1sqsszco1_500ec4585c4-9d51-4f1a-bc1f-81461342362b_Taylor-Dance-1tumblr_me0mxjIVXl1rt5j95 tumblr_m3d0bgwL5b1qfoj4do1_250tumblr_mnz9wxjglI1sqsszco1_r1_250taylor-swift-headbang-gif

I just want to understand her and more importantly BELIEVE her. I am no Miss Cleo but I foresee a serious Anne Hathaway backlash once Tay Tay hits her 30’s. The overly gracious “girl next door” schtick will be long overdone and she can’t possibly pretend to be so fucking surprised every time she wins an award for another 5 years.tumblr_msi5fihAMF1sqsszco1_400

We get it. You’re a grown up. You’re “sexy” now. You’ve banged every eligible bachelor in Hollywood. You invested in a straightening iron. Now get a choreographer. Mazel tov girl.tumblr_mxioxdp8xf1qfoj4do3_250


6 thoughts on “Queen of The Dance – Tay Swift

  1. acid reflux while pregnant says:

    Hello! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

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