Because I am a deeply intellectual woman with my finger on the pulse of foreign affairs and current events it is only natural for me to provide insight on the most current gender bender nuance… “She-Spots”. When I saw clusterfuck articles being posted and the blatant OUTRAGE from my fellow gender on the extreme sexism and stereotyping, I had to take a looksee. Honestly at first glance, I thought there may be a sudden resurgence and appreciation of Shakira’s smash hit “She-Wolf” and was so excited thinking I could move on from years of judgment when requesting the song at a party. That song is dope.
Much to my dismay, chicks with dicks everywhere were not rejoicing in Shakira’s leotard clad cage dancing and instead getting their maxi pads in a wad over this “extremely patronizing” movement. Seoul recently passed an $100m initiative on female friendly parking spots which are more roomy, well lit and closer to elevators/exits. Authorities insist it has nothing to do with clichés that women are inferior drivers and say these spaces were created to make women feel more safe and those with children more comfortable. In hopes of making Seoul more “women friendly” they have taken other initiatives like making sidewalks crack free so high heels won’t get stuck and installing more female restrooms. Firstly, I think the US should take notes and take a similar initiative by making people from the midwest park the furthest away at a Walmart so they can burn off last night’s KFC and get some well needed cardio in. You know… for health purposes. I also think the crack free sidewalks are incredibly considerate. Last week I busted a Louboutin after getting my heel stuck and subsequently fell and flashed my labia to fellow valet patrons. I have never wished to be an Asian more in my fucking life #gangnamstyle.
Who really gives a fuck about getting priority parking? I think it’s pretty gangster. Clearly chivalry ain’t dead ya’ll. We are going to bust our ovaries over this? There is a lot more sexist shit going on than getting better parking spots. Like Chris Brown still having a career… that bleach haired, lip syncing, woman beating little fuckhead. Stop bleaching your fucking hair Chris, you aren’t Adam Levine (#nicejewishboy) nothing about you is pulling that shit off. And let’s be clear… women in Seoul aren’t the only bad drivers over there. Let’s give light to the real stereotype here; Asians – because they are all the worst drivers. And I can say that because a) I love sushi b) I have an Asian uncle c) I too have an affinity for designer travel wear #guccifannypack
If I wanted to grow facial hair and walk through life with a epidermal Chiquita banana dangling between my legs and schleppy parking spots, I’d get a sex change but guess what… Being a woman is fucking awesome. So stop bitching, enjoy your new roomy and safe parking spaces and go check your closet for a She-Wolf.