Common Relationship Myths

“All Relationships Are Hard Work.” You know what’s hard work? Giving yourself a Brazilian bikini wax… trust me I have tried it. Hot wax in your sphincter is next level traumatizing and incredibly laborious, healthy relationships shouldn’t be. Sure people fight and not everyday will be easy breezy but if you have to work THAT hard you may want to re-evaluate your partner choice. Companionship is a luxury and while all things sacred are worth working for, if you are working TOO hard perhaps you are trying to manifest something that just isn’t there.

“Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry.” Whoever wrote that is a serious dumb fuck. If you act like an asshole you should always take accountability and apologize, ESPECIALLY to the people you love. This concept is archaic and moronic. I understand the subtext meaning that your significant other knows you well enough that you can offer a nonverbal apology but seriously? Telekinesis is for pussies, own your actions and say your sorry.

“Opposites Attract!” I think the term “opposites” is a bit dramatic in this particular myth. Sure contrasting personalities can make for an excellent pairing. I could never date someone who was just like me or I would literally murder them BUT having similar interests and perspectives on life is so important. If I lived by the principle of attracting an opposite, I would be dating a Vegan Scientologist with good credit and categorized recycling bins. God knows that would NEVER work.

“Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder.” Bullshit. If you have to be away from someone to appreciate them you’re kind of fucked. I will admit the first stage of my boyfriend being away is missing him, the second stage is me being irritated I have to pay for all my own dinners (prices of quality sushi has really gone up since I have been single) and my third stage is basic resentment. This is a line many have used to get a breather from their partner (#guilty) and TOO much distance is never a good thing.

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