Deuces Bruce(s)

So in the past 72 hours I have watched the Bruce Jenner special with Diane Sawyer 6 times. In hopes of NOT losing my street cred I should probably withhold that I cried uncontrollably each and every time. When the ponytail came down, I cried. When the Olympic montage played, I cried. When I saw the Kardashian kids pre-contouring, I REALLY cried.

If you are Amish or a complete social reject and are unsure of what I am talking about, Bruce Jenner is literally becoming a woman.

I will admit, I was a skeptic. I wondered how he could father 653 kids, be a champion athlete and have such terrible selections of orthopedic footwear if he harbored the soul of a woman. I swore on my podcast that I would tweet a picture of my vagina if Bruce was actually becoming a female, that’s how confident I was in my disbelief. I am sorry but I will not be fulfilling that promise. I have a strict moral code that only allows me to take nude photos if I am being compensated… like a lady.

The truth is I don’t give a fuck about Kimye, Scott’s “drinking problems” #quitter, Kris and her chevron bathroom, Kylie and her fucking lips. Reasons for my skepticism are obvious. The overwhelming contradiction of shameless celebrity and personal voyeurism made me feel this was a ratings ploy. I immediately felt like a colossal asshole upon finishing the interview and hearing his truth and internal struggle.

I am not Mother Teresa and usually don’t comment on social or political issues, mostly because unless they directly benefit me I don’t pay attention. For the record, I still don’t know what Benghazi is – but it would make a killer kabob restaurant name. What Bruce Jenner did was so brave and (pardon my pun) BALLSY. Most importantly it will instigate change. I don’t know much about the transgender community, only that we should all learn more and they now have a new Queen B. Mazel tov Brucie, from one bitch to another!

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