Dear Brooks Ayers

Dear Brooks Ayers,

Firstly, I must thank you for blocking me on Twitter. There is no way I could truly illustrate all the ways you disgust me in 140 characters so a public letter is really the only way to go. I have always said you should never trust a man in light wash denim and I want to thank you for proving this theory true. Also Brooks, you look like you shouldn’t be permitted within 650 feet of any elementary school so congratulations on that.

It is one thing to fake a relative’s death to avoid dinner plans. I do that shit ALL the time, my great Aunt Esther has already died 8 times conveniently when a Nancy Meyers movie is on and I have an open bottle of Vueve. It’s a whole other level of vile to lie about having fucking CANCER. To even concoct such a story you have to be the sickest of fucks.

What makes you a real scumbag is that you not only LIED about a diagnosis, you then solidified your corruptness by doctoring fake medical records. What a fucking moron. This is 2015; we have cars that drive themselves. You think no one is going to disprove your faux illness because you give your side bitch Vicki daily affirmations? You are a pussy. I hope a stray cow roaming outside the low income duplex where you live in Montana shoves it’s hoof up your ass and knocks a veneer out.

I desperately hope Vicki was not in on this hoax, as I have loved Vicki passionately ever since she assaulted that poor Asian man for the “family van” incident of 2008. I have loved her age-inappropriate party dresses, her chin and her heinous kitchen rooster forever. Love is blind, but not that fucking blind.

People die from cancer. You have not just insulted people who are battling this life threatening disease but also the families suffering and undermining the hard work of physicians everywhere. I am not “going to pray for you” Brooks because you are an asshole and you need more than a bedside prayer. Jesus may forgive you but I sure as fuck don’t. Go fuck yourself Brooks, because probably no one else will you evil hillbilly.

Love always (not),



7 thoughts on “Dear Brooks Ayers

  1. Beth says:

    Veneers VICKI paid for, btw!!
    I have always thought he acted and looked like a pedophile, but adding the cancer faking “gimick” in the mix I now KNOW that fucker is capable of anything….illegal, immoral, or unethical!!!! Such a fuckwad!
    Love you Jackie😙

  2. simplygiselle says:

    I think it was the second episode where Brooks claims cancer, starts chemo, and conveniently is out partying. I work in the field and lost my mind for exactly the reasons you listed. Thank you – for calling him out on it. He almost makes Jenny McCarthy look less evil.. almost…

  3. justanotherbitch says:

    Thank you Jackie. Im near your age and lost my dad 3 years ago from cancer. we never saw his diagnosis coming and had never dealt with cancer in our family. I’m not sure if Vicki knew or not, but I do think if she didn’t know its either a testament to how much Brook’s was able to pull the wool over her eyes OR it was a hint into how self centered Vicki is to not be close enough to her partner as he “battled cancer” to know whether or not he was full of shit. I was outraged by his lying about cancer and I think he has a lot to talk about with the big guy or girl upstairs someday. To say that I want to pummel him to death with rotten oranges or drown him in Tamra’s baptism pool both are understatements, but hey he has fucked himself harder than anyone could ever wish to fuck him right? So let him sit in his filth ugh what a douche he is! If Vicki ever goes back to him I’ll have to say “Bye Bitch”.

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