Aperol Schpritz.

It is no secret that me likey the happy juice (in moderation of course). Unfortunately my libation selection has stayed limited to dirty martinis (blue cheese olives please), pinot noir and beer (#bluecollar #relatable). Instead of dedicating my time to evoking change in other aspects of my life-like working on my general lack of sensitivity both emotionally and socially or learning a new language or how to properly recycle (too many fucking bins)I have focused on finding myself a new summer beverage. A drink that is easy to make, won’t give me love handles and keeps me just likeably pretentious. After putting my liver to the grindstone, planning a summer trip to Italy, micromanaging 18 different bartenders and shoplifting some organic rosemary from a nearby Whole Foods – I give you my tried and true recipe for the Aperol Spritz I was drinking on this weeks podcast… alone.

Here’s what you need

  • 1 oz of Aperol
  • Prosecco
  • Sparkling water (I use Pellegrino or La Croix)
  • Dash of vodka (cause why the fuck not)
  • Fresh slices of orange
  • Sprig of rosemary (SO necessary)

Pour everything over ice, preferably in a cute wine glass with a straw and enjoy! This is perfect to make when it’s hott as fuck out and your tits are sweating but you still seem very chic and cultured cause you’re sipping a foreign cocktail. Serve with castelvetrano olives (put some orange zest on top) and chunks of parmesan cheese and you’re one vaginal steam away from being Gwyneth Paltrow.

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Bellísima! 

(pretty sure this isn’t Italian… oh well)

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